I don't need you, do i?

Too many cigarettes, too much whining and too much of everything.
You're so lovely in your own little way and I can't get my head around it.

- What it is that I'm actually feeling.
I don't even think I can call them feelings.

My psychologist was going to talk to my mum about me getting antidepressants.
I couldn't do it myself, tried for a week but it just didn't happen. I'm too scared.

I'm too scared to show emotions and feelings to my closest friends and family.

But my mum haven't said a word about it.

It's not about writing letters or talking to someone that's close to you.
It's about surviving, trying to take control in your life when it's more a hurricane than anything else.

They always say that they can help me, but they never do.

I've heard it so many times that I've stopped believing in it.