But all the highs and the lows and the to's and the fro's. They left me dizzy

Your pain hurts me too

2009-11-15T02:11:00.002+01:00

It breaks my heart.

Break my heart instead.

I hate.
Hate
seeing you like this.

Never ever

2009-10-31T22:45:00.002+01:00

this just sucks.

it's not even worth thinking about it.
Because you already know it's never going to be the way you want.

Peter Doherty

2009-10-19T01:11:00.005+02:00

Nothing but love to this man.

One year older.

2009-10-16T00:08:00.002+02:00

Happy birthday to me.
I've wasted yet another year of my life.
16.
Who cares anyways.

Congratulations,
you survived this year too.

you're green, you don't know what love means

2009-10-12T22:57:00.003+02:00

I listened to that song today.
It's been months since i last heard it.
And today was the first time, in a long long time that i really felt something listening to a song.
Really felt something.
It sent shivers down my spine.
Punched me in the stomach
And filled my heart with sorrow and laughter at the same time.

I think I'm quite emotionally handicapped

It's all about the darkness

2009-10-11T13:04:00.002+02:00

Fall has always felt like the season of loneliness, heartbreak, tears, tea, books and movies.
Feeling like you're always walking around in the dark with the cold wind surrounding you.
Rain every other day
Rain on the inside - In your soul and your heart.

Always with an apathetic feeling.
Feeling empty, lost, and lone.

Lying on your bed with music in your ears, a song on repeat.
Listening to the lyrics and feeling your heart beat too hard.
Letting the words fill your heart with pain.
At the same time - it's making you feel alive when nothing else can.

I'm the rain

2009-10-04T03:50:00.004+02:00

Anxiety has taken over today.
My room is filled with empty coffee cups.
It's been raining all day.
And I've been spending a whole lot of time alone in the dark.

Such a fun Saturday!

I don't need you, do i?

2009-09-29T21:54:00.005+02:00

Too many cigarettes, too much whining and too much of everything.
You're so lovely in your own little way and I can't get my head around it.

- What it is that I'm actually feeling.
I don't even think I can call them feelings.

My psychologist was going to talk to my mum about me getting antidepressants.
I couldn't do it myself, tried for a week but it just didn't happen. I'm too scared.

I'm too scared to show emotions and feelings to my closest friends and family.

But my mum haven't said a word about it.

It's not about writing letters or talking to someone that's close to you.
It's about surviving, trying to take control in your life when it's more a hurricane than anything else.

They always say that they can help me, but they never do.

I've heard it so many times that I've stopped believing in it.

2909

2009-09-29T01:30:00.000+02:00

It's too late to be up at this hour.
I tired as hell, but i don't want to sleep - Not a good combination.
want a cigarette, need a cigarette.
Need my best friend.
Don't you get that? I really need you.
But I guess that you don't need me.

To try your best is never good enough.
Nothings ever good enough..

You say that you love me, why don't you fuck off?